


Divine Secrets of The Cyberhood Sisters

by Be_the_Spark



Category: Humans (TV)
Genre: Bonding, Emotional Healing, F/F, Intrigue, nistrid - Freeform, set after S3E08
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-07 02:50:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15209219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Be_the_Spark/pseuds/Be_the_Spark
Summary: Niska takes Mattie on a journey to Wales, while her relationship with an accompanying Astrid is tested. Can Astrid’s unwavering support convince Niska that they’re unbreakable? Will the secrets behind Niska’s evolution be revealed? And how will any of these things impact Mattie upon her return home?





	1. Mind Body & Soul

***  **NISKA *****  

The cabin had been empty. A worn-brown pile of large sticks, that was all. Inside it was hollow and dusty, the barest essentials of technology left behind in case V wished to communicate. Niska remembered what it was like to be afraid of it, of both the cabin and V. Yet the fear that before raced within her like a bullet train was now more of something like a bicycle. V was a part of her, a part of everything. As for the cabin –

“We should see if any dead American campers are buried underneath the floorboards before moving in.” Mattie was staring at the wooden porch steps that led to an open door. Shadows hung inside the threshold space. Niska wondered if V had at least cleaned a few cobwebs away before passing on.

“There is nothing to be afraid of,” she said to Mattie. However, her voice sounded grave enough to add,  _Unless you fear wild bears and spiders_ , and Niska knew she wasn’t imagining it. She imagined nothing and knew everything. That was V’s gift to her, and curse. Her voice, her movements – less visible than the sapphire shine in her eyes but just as real. She was affected in a way that she was both learning about and already knew.

The final woman belonging to their trio, studying the place Niska had chosen for them to stay with masked blasé, strode forward. “While you are deciding,” she called after them, her German accent weighing on her tongue. She turned to face them, her arms flung out wide. “I mean, they aren’t allowed to kill gay people in horror films anymore, right?”

Though Astrid smiled and went inside, Niska felt the painful understanding of what she had sacrificed for her mission. In spite of the connection V had given her, Niska wasn’t without emotion. It was simply wound in the threads of infinite knowledge and wisdom. She loved Astrid. She missed Astrid. And, acknowledged with stoic acceptance, she could never have Astrid back in that way again. A fact she was waiting for the other woman to eventually acknowledge.

Mattie sighed and followed, Niska trailing last. She remembered what it was like to be Niska Elster. Teacher, sister, lover.  _I am still,_  she told herself, the words echoing into the collective consciousness. All Synths would feel it. She didn’t care.

_I am still._

***  **MATTIE**

 Mattie had heard of women who spent their maternity leaves confined to bedrest. Others took vacations and let their children be born in the sun. Most of them stayed close to hospitals. None of them had heard of an abandoned cabin in the Welsh wilderness and thought,  _I want to have my baby there!_

And she realised Niska wasn’t psychic towards human thoughts, but the Synth nearly had her fooled by telling Mattie as she eyed the dirt-specked armchair, “We won’t be here very long. Just until I see something.”

“See what?” muttered Mattie, knowing better than to expect clarification.

The clunking sound of hiking boots nixed the exchange. Astrid re-entered the cabin with her suitcase and the last of the groceries they’d bought along the way. She picked up a white round pharmaceutical bottle and handed it to Niska. Mattie watched the minute interaction with a saddened curiosity; the intent was almost certainly pointed for Niska’s acknowledgement of the woman she’d brought along with their relationship packed away.

 _What’s it like, losing the person who means everything to you for a cause?_ She wasn’t sure whether she would ask Astrid or Niska that question if she had the nerve. But Niska’s eyes – stunning, unnerving violet gems that they were – set sight back on her once more.

Mattie wanted to cringe.  _She is not psychic._ No, Niska was obviously not psychic; she was simply so intuitive and hyper-focused on her needs that Mattie could now get by-the-hour forecasts of when she needed to eat or sleep or even vomit. Brilliant. She’d known that the child Mattie was carrying was a girl before there was even a baby shape to it.

With a solemn pace, Niska walked over to Mattie and passed her the bottle. One look at the label –  _Vitamin D_ – and Mattie thought back to all her internalised complaints of being cold and depressed and feeling like her own brain was attacking itself.

It was easily a coincidence, until Niska ruined her peace of mind. “Your daughter has wants as well as needs, Mattie. You should give her her name.”

_Shit, she’s psychic!_

 ***  **ASTRID *****

 “Why are we here, Niska?” This was the same question that Mattie had been asking since they’d stepped into the green valleys of Wales, but Astrid was at least hoping for the “girlfriend” card to play through. If that’s what she was to Niska anymore. She remembered the call she’d received during Niska’s last visit to Wales, exchanging their “love you’s” more times than a couple of Care Bears. She’d always promised that Niska would never lose her, not to family drama, not to bombs. So whether her love would be a Synthetic Moses leading her people into the light, or simply a glorified midwife to Mattie Hawkins, Astrid was all in. There, for as long as Niska would let her be.

“Mattie’s confession to Dryden has put her at risk. I could not leave her vulnerable,” said Niska. But when Astrid had asked the question, a hint of closure in Niska’s violet eyes pulled down to hide the true answer. Something so beautiful had never bothered her so – and it didn’t escape Astrid’s attention that purple was the chromatic child born of blue and red. Synth and human.

Mattie’s child.

Astrid took an evaluating glance at the girl. “I would believe you more if you said we were trying to avoid your brother,” she murmured. Because within the first few months of Mattie’s pregnancy, an initially reluctant father had done a turnaround and started making regular showings at the Hawkins’s residence, appearing on their doorstep like a Bible messenger. Mattie’s too-little-too-late stance seemed to have been softening, as well – she didn’t slam the door on him or make frost feel like summer the way Astrid sensed Niska would prefer.

Niska’s voice dropped a level. “Leo’s interference is inconsequential at this point. He is welcome to become involved when he’s ready.” A catch in her words – the first Astrid had seen since Niska had obtained the purple eyes – alerted her to a possibility that there may have been more personal reasons than Mattie’s for keeping Leo Elster away.

Only Niska was not going to tell her. It had taken Astrid ages to open that lock on Niska’s heart, and now there was a safe around it the size of a bank vault.

“Niska,” she said, her voice hushed enough to soothe an infant. “I want to stay. Do you want me to stay?”

Something switched in Niska’s eyes – Astrid could have been imagining but it was like watching a spark of emerald flash within the amethysts.

She stared at Astrid for a moment, the moments ticking by more slowly than the memories they shared. “No,” she said quietly. “No, I  _need_ you to stay.”


	2. Hide & Seek

***** NISKA *****

 

The television set would not talk. Niska was kneeling on the floor before it, face to screen, willing the image of a breeze swimming through a field of peridot to surface. She put her palms on the charcoal-hued glass and closed her eyes.

_I need your guidance, V. The child is at risk and there is only so much I can do for her. How can I help her mother overcome this issue?_

Deafening silence answered. For a minute more, Niska focused, pushing away the doubts that V would return; doubts that also mocked her for her absurd position as she waited. She had little care for how it – any of it, really – looked to Mattie. Niska knew her gratitude was delayed, that it likely would not manifest until the child was born and in her arms. If it made it to birth…Mattie’s difficulty in loving this child was a foreseen yet unwelcome complication.

On the other hand, Astrid. Astrid, whom Niska had just admitted bore an importance to her existence which was no less than that of the charging cable and outlet she required to survive. Because Astrid was a piece of Niska Elster that remained clean, untouched by V’s gift. And because Niska’s mission would have been compromised if she’d been forced to see Mattie through her pregnancy on her own.

“Niska?” came Astrid’s soft voice. Niska could feel her gaze from their makeshift kitchen; it felt the way a young bunny might have felt watching a large dog. In spite of this, Niska did not turn around just yet. Her fingers were beginning to tingle, the crackle of energy on the television slight but sure. Her system loading with connection, with _consciousness_ , Niska’s sensory process elevated to a euphoric state ready to address its host. _V, tell me what I can do for the baby._

And then…the static faded within an instant. It was the warmth of a candle that had died before even being lit. Her hopes crushed flat, Niska whispered into the emptiness, “Where are you?”

“Mattie is in the back room,” Astrid spoke again. “She wanted me to come for you as soon as you were done acting out _Poltergeist.”_

Niska stood slowly. Narrowing her eyes at Astrid, she said, “That’s not how Mattie worded it to you, was it?”

“No,” said Astrid, a bit of sadness in her face as she shrugged. “She’s too sick to speak at all right now.”

This Niska also knew. It would only get worse for Mattie, much more than it should have been. This was an unordinary child forming inside an ordinary girl. She followed Astrid to the small corner of the cabin. Mattie was slumped against a wall, her face pale, and damp along the hairline. A large plastic bucket was tucked under her left arm. Upon Niska’s entrance, she gave a rumbling groan, accompanied by an eyeroll.

Before Niska could choose an appropriate response to Mattie’s condition, Astrid made a tentative shuffle towards the girl, fiddling with something in her pocket. What she pulled out was a soft black band that looked like it was missing a watch face. As she handed it down to an exhausted-looking Mattie, Niska said aloud, “A Magna Band. Relief for morning sickness – Astrid, when did you buy that?”

Astrid looked away. “Before we left.” It was a shock, to be honest – for Astrid to hide and Niska to seek was an enigmatic role reversal. But Astrid was not her mission.

“How does it feel?” Niska asked Mattie at last, as the girl pressed the bracelet against her wrist. Mattie bobbed her head back against the wall with a thunk.

“Like all the shit in the world is finally going on mute,” she said with a rasp.

Niska stared at her, expecting to feel a longing to tell the truth, or guilt that she couldn’t. But all that she resonated with were Mattie’s words. _The world on mute._

She knew it now; they’d all come into this cabin carrying secrets. The problem was that she already knew Mattie’s. But she and Astrid were now no longer a one-sided mystery. And Niska was the last being who had the right to ask. 

 

 

 

***** MATTIE**

 

She’d been pregnant for two months, but Mattie had just gone from the nonchalance of _morning sickness? Not a fan_ to the agonized, sincere intent of pleading the universe for a refund on her entire life.

Niska, damnably psychic Niska, had seen it coming. Mattie was sure of it. Yet somehow Astrid had been the one that wound up saving the day. And Mattie was grateful - the Magna Band was still working its magic, easing down the acid in her throat and the aches around her stomach. But a split hairsbreadth of irritation wouldn’t die, and it prompted several words which rhymed with “chucking” to string themselves to the front of Niska’s name.

Resting on the sofa in the main room, Mattie withdrew her cell phone. She had a better chance of summoning a dragon out here than she did catching a bar of service, but she looked at the most recent messages anyway. She’d seen them a dozen times already, but they packed a kick in the heart every time they were read.

 

sent last week

Leo:

 _Is it alright if I see you tomorrow? Sophie wants me to watch a Disney film called_ Beauty & the Beast _. For educational purposes, apparently I can learn something from it._

 

sent last week

Leo:

_I’m out doing a shop with Joe. He’s showing me the different foods and supplements that are good for you right now. Hopefully this is the start of me doing some things right. See you soon._

 

sent last week

Leo:

_Just got back…Toby says Niska came by and you left with her. Please be safe, I feel like I don’t really know her anymore._

sent last week

Leo:

 _I watched_ Beauty & the Beast _with Sophie this morning. I’m not certain what I was meant to learn, but here’s what I got out of it: Maybe the Beast should’ve done a bit more for Belle before he got rewarded for extorting the love she had for her father to trap her there. He saw an opportunity in her and he took it, his sketchy teapot totally enabling that move. Maybe he should’ve been honest with her sooner, instead of taking advantage of her kindness._

sent yesterday

Leo:

_Mattie –_

_I’ve never texted one person so much in my life. I know I’ve apologised to you in person, I’ve said I don’t want to lose you. I get why that can’t be enough. Just please give a second chance. Let me know you’re okay._

 

“Mattie?” Astrid had quietly stepped into the room, smoothing some dirt from the sofa before taking a seat. Everything about Astrid from Mattie’s first moments with her had suggested shyness and uncertainty, but now she recognised a woman who was cool enough to walk through fire. Yet she’d never met anyone more warm or patient.

 _You’re one code I’d respect too much to break, Astrid Shaeffer,_ thought Mattie, putting away her phone and twisting her Magna Band nervously.

“You okay?” the woman asked. Mattie nodded, swallowing her tears.

Astrid raised her eyebrows in a quizzical manner. “You know the problem with this place? Everyone’s here, but no one’s talking.” She reached out for the phone, and in an automatic response, one that Mattie fervently wished would never happen again, the girl put it in her hand.

Astrid took her time scrolling through the messages, tapping the screen daintily as though hoping to avoid fingerprint residue. When she finally returned the phone to Mattie, a delighted smile was on her face. “ ‘Sketchy teapot.’ ”

A small snort escaped Mattie as Astrid added, “He is pretty insightful. Maybe he deserves that second chance.”

Although it was designed as a statement, Mattie felt there was more of a question mark attached to it. It wasn’t that Leo didn’t deserve a second chance – she’d have to be a bit more self-righteous than was comfortable to her to dismiss his legitimate concerns about being as poor of a father as his own. No, he was not the problem in this.

Mattie was.

She remembered sitting there in a local clinic, letting an orange-eyed Synth calculate that she was fifty-seven percent sure she wanted an abortion. Niska may have come to stop her from making that choice, but did that fifty-seven percent ever really go away?

How was she going to let Leo raise a child with her when she herself wasn’t even sure she wanted it?

  _Her._ A girl, already a person. Already rejected by her mother. Mattie bit her chapped lip, tasting the miniscule bits of skin that were flaking off. “Astrid?” she whispered, getting wide-eyed curiosity as an initial response. “I don’t know…what I’m doing. I don’t think I can.”

Astrid reached out once more, gently grabbing the wrist with the band on it.

“Do you think,” she said with a knowing smile, “anyone knows how to be a parent, before they are one? Even many who have kids still don’t know how. The difference is the learning curve. And you’re smart. You’ve got this.” And with a wink at Mattie, Astrid let go of her wrist and stood up.

 A sudden, startling thought occurred to Mattie when she did. “Wait a second, where’s Niska?”

 

 

***** ASTRID *****

 

After talking to Mattie, Astrid wished her problems with love only extended to an unready babydaddy and a guilty heart. At least those were things Astrid could have had control over. At the moment, she was dealing with a girlfriend with whom she used to have equal driving rights, only now Niska was in the front seat and Astrid was barely clinging onto the trunk.

One of Leo Elster’s messages struck an uneasy chord. It gave her a bit of a chill, reading in his own words that he didn’t know Niska anymore.

_If her own family doesn’t recognise her, am I kidding myself to think that I do?_

And was she only imagining it when her brain conjured a memory of Niska telling her, _No one’s ever known me the way you do._

“Niska!” she called, marching out of the cabin. Secretly praying that Niska bowing to a blank screen television was going be the most bizarre thing she’d see all day, Astrid walked around the back of the cabin. The sky above the trees was greying to a grandfatherly colour, the declining ground below prompting Astrid to be careful with her steps.

From behind a tree, a familiar voice was muttering, “ _I need to know. I need to know_.”

She froze, then hated herself for it. This was Niska after all. Messiah, prophet, or a badass blonde angel, one thing Astrid was certain of was that Niska would never harm her.

But when she turned to find Niska, she stopped yet again. Because she was expecting to find the ghost of the person who she knew once loved her, and now found herself facing Niska. Her Niska, luminous neon green eyes and all. Eyes that Astrid had thought she would never see again.

“What’s going on?” Astrid said, moving towards her in slow motion. Niska looked so upset, it broke her heart.

“I don’t know,” she said hoarsely. “I think I lost it.”

“Lost what?” Astrid tried to reach out a hand. Niska backed away.

“The connection. The power. I don’t feel it anymore,” she said, shuddering. “I can’t, Astrid. I can’t do what I’m supposed to without it!”

Her voice, normally so measured, so strong, was now the stranger here. Niska was unbalanced. Raising her open hands in a non-threatening way, Astrid said, “Of course you can. Niska, there is nothing I’ve seen that you can’t do!”

But then a fire glowed behind Niska’s green eyes – purple flames, filling the gems into amethysts once more.

Astrid’s mouth went to her hand, while Niska’s unnatural composure returned. “You made me lose it,” she said calmly, and walked away.

The tiny drop of rain that fell from the sky hit Astrid on the cheek. In her numb state, she couldn’t even acknowledge it as a tear.

 

 

 


	3. Game Night

***** NISKA *****

Niska sat inside the cabin, staring at the stationary sack of groceries on the table as though it might perform a magic trick. The last shard of sunlight was fading through the cabin’s kitchen window, and she could practically hear it crying for rescue. She was Niska, she was V, she was no one, she was everyone…round and round the identities within her quarreled, with Niska fighting a push to the front. She understood the task at hand was fundamental, that V was fundamental. But as long as Astrid Schaeffer walked the earth, Niska Elster still lived on.

Back when Astrid and Niska were first getting to truly know one another, gaining new information was like collecting stars. The facts were small, precious, few and far between. Niska was reserved by nature, but carefree Astrid strived for a balance in their dynamics. Where Niska lacked in conversation, Astrid overcompensated. And the things Niska did share were met with silence. Finally realising that their relationship was hardly balanced by this way too, Astrid had proposed a new strategy. And right now, Niska could visualise her sitting at their table again, dipping a spoon into some creamy fruit yogurt.

 _Let’s play a game,_ she said at random.

 _Of what?_ Niska was wary. The last game of Astrid’s she’d played had been in their bed, and resulted in learning she was ticklish. The sensation involved had not been a pleasant discovery for her.

_I guess something about you that you haven’t told me. If I’m right, you admit it and I get to go again. If I’m wrong, it’s your turn to guess something about me._

_That sounds like a very boring game._

_It would only be boring if I already knew stuff about you,_ Astrid reasoned stubbornly.

So they played. Astrid had called it Twenty Questions, but they’d in fact reached a total of two hundred seventy-nine attempts. Niska’s accuracy in the game meant that she learned everything about Astrid, from the television programmes she’d watched as a child with her older sister to the time she’d punched a lecher in a pub. However, it was the other woman who’d made the game fun. She’d say, “I bet you owned a broadsword at your mansion. True?”

Niska would give a flat “no” but Astrid kept trying.

“Katana? Lightsaber? Lightning bolt? Come  _on,_  I know you’re a badass.”

Even though it was against the rules, Niska had pursed her lips to hold back a smile. “A pen.”

Looking proudly, as though she’d just unraveled a mystery all on her own, Astrid had raised her face to the ceiling and cackled, “ _Die Feder is machtiger als das Schwert!”_

Niska had decided then that the greatest tragedy in her life was being made without the ability to blatantly roll her eyes.

Now she knew differently. Now she knew a kitchen chair sitting across from hers; the seat that Astrid had left behind in the cabin. It had been no surprise she’d left after what was said to her. Niska had never considered herself particularly sensitive and she would have left too. But with night falling at the pace of a dropping curtain, she couldn’t help but fear Astrid hadn’t made it to the friendly house far outside the woods.

“I always thought you were the smart one,” broke in Mattie from the living room. She was still on the sofa and clutching her phone again, as though it would manifest service at any second and chime with another dozen messages from Leo. But the brown eyes trained on Niska were critical and unforgiving. Mattie shook her head suddenly. “What are you waiting for? Go after her!”

“No,” said Niska, although it was like taking a knife to her circuits just to say it.

“Oh, you’d rather she get lost in the dark and eaten by a bear, then?” Mattie’s voice was harsh. “I thought you were in love with her.”

She willed for the serenity V had given her to quell a rising storm. “I am. Everything’s different now, though. I’m different, and maybe…”

Severing her last sentence prematurely did not spare Niska from Mattie’s scrutiny. With a wince and a groan, the girl sat up straighter and prompted, “Maybe?”

Unwillingly, an audio memory of Astrid shouting,  _Die Feder is machtiger als das Schwert!_ sang into her head.

The pen is mightier than the sword.  _Oh Astrid._

“Maybe some people aren’t meant to be together,” Niska said at last, fighting the emotional energy in that memory. Mattie fell silent, which meant Niska’s words had hit home. She couldn’t regret it – it got the girl to shut up and that alone did wonders for retaining Niska’s peace of mind.

But a subdued Mattie also held a hidden danger. Even with the moon glowing on her through the windows, the girl was vulnerable, and with her weakened connection to V, Niska could no longer hold the truth back.

“Mattie,” she said, forcing softness into her voice.

The girl was wary as she approached, and in that moment Niska saw something of herself inside this young and fragile human…a human who was in love with Niska’s brother.

Once she’d taken a seat on the end of the sofa, she said, “Do you know why you’re here?”

Braced for sarcasm, she was surprised when the answer was, “You wanted me away from him.” The Hawkins girl looked tired, and pained. Not the physical distress that Astrid had seen to earlier, but the kind attained through longing. Through loneliness. What Niska saw when she’d look in a mirror, before Astrid and now after.

“I wanted your unborn child away from him until I could find a way to stop your pregnancy from becoming more difficult.”

Mattie rolled her eyes, which stirred a vague envy in Niska. “Bang up job on that one,” she said bitterly.

“Mattie - .”

“What?”

Niska waited a beat. “Your daughter,” she said slowly, fully aware of the injury her words were going to cause, “does not -.”

She froze; the cabin door snapped open, letting a light spray of evening rain into the cabin, along with a figure in a hooded sweatshirt and jeans. Astrid pulled her dampened hood off her head and held up a bag of biscuits and Nutella in one hand, and a plain brown box with a strange black box in the other.

“Niska?” breathed Astrid.

So many words died on Niska’s tongue, pointless and poisoned by the last words she’d said to the one who’d never failed her, never left her wanting for anything. Who came back for her.

_She came back._

Niska hadn’t seen its likelihood. Was it because Astrid herself was unpredictable, or were the lines of the future being drawn in darkness for Niska once again?

“These are heavy,” Astrid announced.

Mattie made a move to rise, but Niska reached Astrid first. After she’d placed the box and bag on the table, they found themselves staring at one another, uncertain of anything between them except the certain tension. Mattie, who was made understandably uncomfortable by it, cut in by saying loudly, “Where’d you find the store, Astrid?”

Without relenting eye contact with Niska, Astrid answered, “It was Paul. I was on my way to his house when he was driving up. He thought we could use some more food. And,” she tapped the box with a fist, “an XBox? If you’re bored?”

As Mattie gave a bewildered laugh, Niska’s insides went cold at the thought of hooking up the video game console. She muttered to Astrid, “That’s no ordinary television. Interfering with its signal could cost me what I came here for.”

Even in this lightless space, the shadows haunting every corner could not rival the ones in Astrid’s grave expression. The woman looked away at last. To Mattie. “Then let it,” she said in a low voice. “You’ve got time. And right now, I’m not here for you.”

 _V,_ thought Niska, her internal system adding this bite to her scars. She had never felt pain so deserved.

_You made me lose her._

******* **MATTIE**

Mattie had been wanting to ask when was the last time that their friendly Welsh recluse had actually played on the Xbox – as far as Mattie knew, Jedi Knights of the Old Republic hadn’t been in popular circulation for at least a decade. Not that she was complaining, and not that she was about to say it. She’d been stuck between a couple waging an ice war before, and her mum and dad had taught her firsthand there was nothing more miserable than to be the only one freely talking.

She was glad Astrid returned. Truthfully, bracing herself for whatever Niska wanted to tell her about the baby was like sitting in the passenger seat of a car about to crash in slow motion through a skyscraper. Astrid had spared her that trip upon entrance.

Then there was the fact that Niska was about as fun to converse with as a cactus. If Astrid hadn’t arrived with the video games, Mattie would right now likely be watching Niska hug the television set as though she couldn’t possibly get any more weird.

“Mattie,” said Niska suddenly.

She jumped.  _Psychic,_ her mind called out unwillingly. But when she turned, all the Synth had for her were some crackers spread with tuna, and a bottle of water. Accepting both with gratitude, Mattie devoured the crackers in under thirty seconds. She couldn’t care less what the people who’d dragged her here thought of that scene.

The water bottle, she clutched with uncertainty. It was stupid, so stupid, remembering a few years back, when she’d managed to get in contact with Leo. Now that she looked back on it, it made little sense to her – he’d been older, generally unpleasant and distrusting with her, and hadn’t even said goodbye to her when he’d left the first time. And yet, every week she’d still try to track him down. Like a school girl with a crush. But when she found him again, he seemed pleased to see her. Even though Hester didn’t feel the same about it.

Hester. The Synth who’d picked up on Mattie’s feelings for Leo, who’d gloated about how she’d already had sex with him. And when Mattie had decided she was done, and told Leo she wanted to leave…

He’d handed her a bottle of water. And asked her to stay.

Mattie didn’t want to think about him. But he was, in fact, all that she seemed to be able to think of, here in this very shack which she was fairly sure had been featured in a ghost hunting documentary she’d seen.

“Want to take the Force from me?” Breaking into her thoughts, Astrid offered a controller.

A surprised Mattie stared at it, shaking with a laugh. “I don’t think the Force works that way, Astrid.”

Astrid shrugged, a sheepish smile on her face. “I didn’t follow Star Wars as a kid. Must be why I keep dying.” She nudged Mattie’s hand with the controller, and this time Mattie took it.

“What did you like as a kid?” she asked, selecting a new game option.

Just as Astrid hesitated, Niska said behind them, “Charlie’s Angels.”

The carefree light in Astrid’s eyes faded a bit. The entire room became an empty court, with a lone Mattie unable to decide what to play in it. She really didn’t feel like doing anything right now, unless Niska had a pregnancy-approved sedative to knock her out for the duration of this stay at Camp Crazy.

But Astrid leaned towards her from her spot on the sofa, serious-toned and with intimate mannerisms that Mattie usually only saw when people were drunk. “You have to promise me,” said the woman, “that you’ll let me fly the Millennial Fallon just once.”

The water bottle dropped from Mattie’s hands as she pressed them against her mouth to stifle her laughter. “Mate, you have no idea what you’re talking about, do you?”

Shrugging, Astrid said, “What is the big deal? Star Trek, Star Wars, Stargate…America just loves to market everything with a ‘star’ in the title.”

Out of the corner of her vision, Mattie noticed Niska standing by the wall, looking halfway at them and halfway at nothing.

“Well, if it makes you feel better,” she said, “Niska has never seen it either.”

 Astrid raised her eyebrows, finally saying to Niska, “Really? You told her that?”

“No,” Niska said bluntly, her agitation causing Mattie to regret bringing it up. “Leo told her our family always had little reason to watch anything from the cinema. If anything, we read to each other. Mia…” her voice paused, a confused undertone switching inflection.  Mattie and Astrid waited.

“Mia read Sense & Sensibility to me.” And then, the spell of despair was over. Niska sounded much more like her new, neutral persona when she said, “Fred always had a Science Journal for us when we needed to be bored.”

“And Leo?” asked Astrid, curving a knowing glance at Mattie.

Niska replied, “Winnie the Pooh.”

This time the laughter Mattie was sharing was pure and unbreakable; the funny thing was, Astrid’s was too. It was the first time she’d truly laughed on this trip. For all her laidback spirit, Astrid Schaeffer was heartbroken.

And looking up at Niska, seeing the relief flash briefly in those purple eyes as it saw Astrid’s smile, Mattie saw Niska’s pain as well.

 _Which leaves no one_ , she thought grimly. How could three broken hearts heal one another?

***** ASTRID**

When she’d left, she’d meant to ask Paul to drive her to the first train station off Wales. But the further she trod downhill, the more bothersome a quirk in her stomach became. It was like a fly trapped in a box, bumping and agitated until it was freed. And by the time Paul rolled up in his car with a video game console and some hazelnut spread, Astrid was ready to go back.

After all, she’d helped Niska all but kidnap Mattie. Which meant she was partially responsible for whatever happened to the girl. Might as well stick it out, for her conscience’s sake.

However, being around Niska still hurt enough to make a bloody nose happy. With Mattie at last dozing off on the sofa, Astrid had no choice but to pay attention to the one pacing by the furniture. From the floor, Astrid said quietly, “We need to take her home, Niska.”

Niska stopped pacing. “We will,” she said.

“Tomorrow.”

But Niska’s face, a face holding a character now as unfamiliar to Astrid as the purple eyes, was impassive. “I wouldn’t have brought her here if there was no need. I do everything for a reason, Astrid.”

At this Astrid rolled her eyes. “Everyone does everything for a reason. That does not make it right.”

“Then what should I do?”

“Talk.”

Blinking her eyes with deliberation, the way only a Synth would, Niska swept a look at the television set. Astrid followed her gaze. V or no V, Astrid wanted more than anything to smash it into glass.

“I had to intervene,” Niska said at last, her voice a weak flame in this dark room. Her eyes still glowed violet in it, unsettling Astrid to welling tears.

“Tell me,” she whispered.

Niska shot a warning glance at Mattie. Moonlight highlighted the girl’s sleeping face, making her appear both haunting and ethereal.  Astrid cleared her throat.

“Mattie,” she said, not changing her volume. “Mattie, Leo just texted.”

Nothing shifted Mattie’s expression; she may as well have been the sofa. Astrid raised her eyebrows promptingly at Niska.

“The baby has consciousness,” began Niska slowly. “Or rather, a subconscious. Everything that she learns at this stage will be forgotten at birth. But right now, she knows. She knows about Leo’s abandonment. She knows Mattie wanted an abortion.”

There were so many how’s Astrid wanted to ask, yet the only thing that she could utter was, “You don’t need V for this, Niska. You don’t need any superpowers.”

Niska’s eyes dimmed a little. “What do you suggest?” she asked, sounding careful. Like trusting Astrid was an elusive yet familiar game she was playing. Thinking that way made her feel like the stranger now. Thinking it hardened her resolve.

“Undo what you’ve been doing,” she announced. “If you don’t believe it, we’ll take her to Paul’s tomorrow to try. If it doesn’t work, we come back here and you can go on talking to your tee-V again.”

She half-expected Niska’s eyes to flash at her tasteless pun. But Niska nodded, the light in her eyes returning. And Astrid could breathe a sigh of relief, grateful that V wasn’t somewhere in the cabin, ready to zap her from an outlet for blasphemy.

At least…V wasn’t still in the cabin, right? Because the only thing scarier than Niska speaking to the television, was the thought of the television speaking back


End file.
